Aral
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Aral" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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08:25 pm
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Psych 2x9 - 2x12
Oh, my dears, you have no idea how desperately I needed some escapism the other night. So desperately! I've been touchy and out of sorts lately, short fuse and quick emotional triggers of all kinds. The other night, I spent about 20 minutes yelling at my mother! And, oh yes, I covered the gamut of issues between us--from childhood to the present in just twenty minutes! Yeah. I know I've cryptically mentioned family shit (and sorry for the vagueness, I don't mean to be weird, it's just not something I feel like I can really talk about here, but it's still this big ongoing thing in my life, so it feels weird to pretend it's not going on, and see? Ugh, cryptic!) going on for a while, and part of the whole lovely process is that these sorts of impromptu hashing-out-anger-and-hurt fests are prone to happen fairly regularly. *SIGH* Psych, take me awaaaaaaay!
I have been catching up on MammothFail but not comprehensively. It feels like this weird compressed version of RaceFail '09, like the exact same things have happened, but just over a much shorter span of time. Which is probably because, you know, nobody in RaceFail '09 invented this shit, and most of it is what happens every single time. :(
Anyway, now: THE BEST KIND OF FANNISH ESCAPISM EVER, WHICH IS TO SAY PSYCH, AND WHY AREN'T YOU ALL WATCHING IT WITH ME???
( Bounty Hunters! )
( Gus's Dad May Have Killed An Old Guy )
And then there's a deleted scene where Gus accidentally admits in front of Shawn that he used to like being called "Fussy Gussy" AHAHAHAHAHA!! Gus is my very favorite! *g*
( There's Something About Mira )
( The Old and the Restless )
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07:08 pm
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Psych 2x5 to 2x8
Hey, my dearest darling escapism, sorry I had to go deal with life for a while, but it's good to be back in your entertaining embrace!
ETA: I just tuned in to part way through Wanda Sykes doing her routine at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, and I saw Dule´ Hill in the audience! He was laughing at her jokes about Rush Limbaugh! He looked really good!
( And Down the Stretch Comes Murder )
( Meat Is Murder, But Murder Is Also Murder )
( If You're So Smart, Then Why Are You Dead? )
( Rob-a-Bye Baby )
One of the bonus features on this dvd is simply a string of clips of Gus saying "Shawn" with various inflections. And then the matching bonus feature is a string of clips of Shawn introducing Gus in various ways, "Peter Panic," "Sillypants Jackson," "my personal candystriper Knick-Knack," etc.. So cute!
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09:47 pm
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Psych 2x1 to 2x4
( American Duos )
( 65 Million Years Off )
( Psy vs. Psy )
( Zero to Murder in Sixty Seconds )
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04:54 pm
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Quick personal this and that
General updates of life, very brief version:
I have a lot of hubris around my immune system. Because I was a preschool teacher for eight years, my immune system is actually quite resilient. I rarely get sick at all, and when I get a cold, I usually get over it fairly painlessly in 2-3 days. And I like to talk about this a lot. I have often been heard to boast about my extremely robust immune system, and also to be pretty cavalier about actually treating myself like I'm sick when I do come down with a sniffle. I suppose it was only a matter time before the gods of the common cold got fed up and sent me a virus that would thoroughly kick my ass. I have not been so sick in years. I was home from work for two days, which also never happens! I'm still blowing buckets full of snot out of my head! It's gross!
I have a kitty! I have had her for almost two weeks now. About five years ago, my childhood cat finally died at the age of eighteen, and the house hasn't had a cat since then. We always had cats when I was growing up! And we partially really need a cat around the house to keep the mouse problem manageable. My dad wasn't really up for getting a cat while I was living here with him during the last couple years of his life. But since he died, my mom and I have been sort of casually looking, waiting for the perfect cat to appear. She has appeared! Her name is Miss Wilma! We didn't name her, but we think it's hilarious and love it. She was a feral cat rescued by a shelter, and then the previous owner had adopted her from the shelter. She is a total sweetheart! I get excited driving home from work when I remember that I get to go hang out with my kitty!
Thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) trixiesfic, I have a Dreamwidth journal here. I'm pretty excited about DW in general, and my long term feeling is that I will be willing to follow the general fannish migration there if/when it goes that way, which it seems like it very well could. I don't have time to go into a big explanation right now, but I'm hoping that fandom does move that direction, and it's the first new journal service that I feel really good about moving from LJ for. I wish I could afford to do a seed account, but I'm definitely going to cough up the cash for a paid account when I can. For now, I haven't been able to do much with it at all, and I won't even be using it to crosspost until I can spend a little more time exploring and getting set up. I have been creating a circle, mostly passively as people find and add me. I have been adding people on my LJ friendslist who make announcement posts, but I've missed all the people who did that before I got my journal set up over there. When I have a chance, I'll go through my LJ friendslist and see who I can find.
My credit card company just doubled my interest rates! Oooh, bastards! Thankfully, this is the first significant material effect I have personally experienced from the economic crisis.
Huh. I thought I had more to update about. Well, anyway. Guess not. :)
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09:32 pm
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Psych Season 1 (Give or take a few episodes)
I've had this post hanging around in Semagic for a while, and even though I have other updatey things to post about, this is easier. *g*
So I've decided that unless something actually offends me enormously, I'm going to be happy fun time Aral with this show. Which means you can expect to find mostly thoughts of the WHEEE THIS SHOW IS ADORABLE variety when I post about it. I am also liable to be kind of sickeningly OTP about Shawn and Gus. Just so you know. *g*
All commentary written in process as I was watching, or at least I jotted down some notes.
( Spelling Bee )
Sorry, I totally didn't take notes or write anything during ep 1x3! Just laughed a lot and loved on Shawn and Gus some more. *dreamy sigh*
( Woman Seeking Dead Husband, Smokers Okay, No Pets )
( 9 Lives )
( Very, very brief thoughts on Psych 1x6 and 1x7 )
( Shawn vs. The Red Phantom )
Er, nothing much to say about 1x9. It had moments, but I wasn't super into it. *shrug*
( From the Earth to Starbucks )
( He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops, He's Dead! )
( Cloudy...With a Chance of Murder )
( Game, Set...Muuurder? )
( Poker? I Barely Know Her )
( Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast )
Overall, fuck, why oh why was I not already watching this? Gah, I'm in loooove with this show! I need more ridiculousness in my life, and more hilarity, and less crap all around. Mmm. Anyway! So! Bring on the Shawn/Gus recs! Will also read good character gen! The first dvd of season two is sitting on my dvd player, and I'm so ready to go. But, you guys. You know what? Season 3 isn't even out on dvd yet! I had no idea. I might have to go back and get the first two seasons again, so I can do the commentaries. I've been watching deleted scenes but skipping other special features.
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07:30 pm
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Escapade Panel Report - "Becoming Better Allies: Consciousness-Raising for White Fans"
I am so very sorry this took me such a long time to post. What started as a post-con/post-panels/post-vacation break to do some thinking and watch Psych turned into dealing with some truly sucky family stuff and trying to regroup from that, even though it's really just going to be ongoing. *sigh* Families will fuck you up every time, won't they? Anyway, I've been working hard to keep myself from sliding into the kind of depression to which I am frustrating susceptible and to keep myself energized for dealing with life, but also for doing things I enjoy and care about, dammit, like fandom. I've been working on this in the last couple weeks mostly by taking walks and making myself go out in the world, even if it's just to sit with my laptop somewhere other than my bedroom. That's been good. Recently I took a walk on the bike/pedestrian trail along the bay, and the day was windy and sunny and cool. The bay was this beautiful bright blue-green, and because it was windy, it was dotted all over with little whitecaps and my walk was accompanied by the rhythm of waves crashing on the rocky shore. It was the most energizing, enlivening thing to experience. I am so lucky to live here, and I've been feeling it recently.
Honestly, I also have had a really hard time writing this! I finally had to approach it like writing a paper and make outlines and things in order to get my thoughts sorted out. In addition to my time-out to regroup from personal stuff, I think I also freaked out a little bit about having just sort of jumped into trying to do "ally" work without really knowing what I was doing. I've been doing a lot of writing about that for non-public purposes, and I think there are now some things I'd like to put out there and get feedback on. I wanted to have a separate post ready as a companion to this panel report, but instead it will have to follow shortly after. I did need to work some of that stuff through in my mind right away, however, because I have Issues With Authority, and any time I feel myself assuming a role that other people could perceive as exercising authority in a situation, I get really uncomfortable and have to figure out what I'm doing with that. Especially because in the area of race and racism and power, I most emphatically do not consider myself an authority. And I don't want to be one of those annoying white people who set themselves up like that. I don't want to be the equivalent of the really annoying Sensitive Feminist Man who once doggedly and aggressively tried to instruct me about how I, as a feminist and a woman, should be really offended by a movie that I had actually quite liked. Anyway, I've been working on sorting out what "ally" means to me and why I am choosing to identify myself and my goals with that term right now, and I hope to post something soon because I'd like to hear from other people who might be thinking about these things.
So in this report, I want to both summarize the substance of the discussion in the panel and contextualize it in terms of how Sinead and I approached the panel and what our goals were. I hope very much that more panels like this will happen at cons, and more connections can be made among white fans who want to be better allies to the people of color in fandom. I want to talk about how I was thinking about my decisions as a moderator, and how I think things worked, because I'm really interested in people's feedback on how to keep having this conversation, differently or better where necessary.
I should also point you to my co-moderator smallbeer's panel report and note that I wanted to write up my own summary and my own impressions without reading hers first, so there are some things she remembered to talk about that I didn't, and vice-versa. Of course, we prepared the panel together, and we debriefed together after we got home from Escapade, so it's not like we have wildly divergent reports to give. :) Also, she is very kind to me in her report, and I can only respond that she is a marvelous intellectual partner and true friend, and working with her on challenging and difficult ideas always reminds me that there is pleasure and joy to be found in doing hard work with people you love, especially when the goal is making the world suck less.
( This way to the actual panel report... )
I really would like to see more panels happen specifically to continue developing personal connections and shared goals among white fans who want to be antiracist allies. I know hederahelix has been talking about an LJ community for white allies, and I think I am ready to be a part of that if we can make it happen. If anyone else wants to try to do a panel like this at another con and wants to talk through ideas with me, you can definitely email me at my LJ address, and I would be happy to talk and offer whatever help and support I can. And I completely welcome questions, feedback, suggestions, criticism, etc. from anyone reading this report. And I thank everyone who attended either or both days of the panel and made it such a challenging, rewarding discussion! I hope we all keep chewing on the stuff we worked on, and I'd love to keep talking with all of you. If anyone who was at the panel wants to chime in with aspects of the discussion that didn't make it into one of our reports, that would be cool, too--I know there are things that aren't in mine.
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07:22 pm
[Link] | OMG PSYCH! PSYYYYYYYYCH! How did I not know before now that I would enjoy you so much?! Shawn! Gus! SHAWN/GUS!!! Gus's ridiculous little blue car that he lets Shawn drive! Interim Police Chief Karen Vick! RIDICULOUS degrees of slashability, holy shit! I think I didn't watch this show when it began airing because I was initially put off by Shawn. I mean, I can remember thinking he was obnoxious? But I guess I just wasn't in the mood because I am on board now. Oh, man. It's just soooo easy to watch and so entertaining, the actors are awesome, it's exactly what I need to be watching. Thank you, thank you, thank you, ciderpress for talking so convincingly about why it's super enjoyable! Wheee! *g*
So for both personal reasons and post-con/vacation-letdown reasons, I kind of crashed a few days after getting home from Escapade and realized that I needed to stop engaging with fandom very much or following RaceFail closely for a while. So I've been bookmarking stuff, and I've been doing a lot of thinking and letting stuff simmer in the background. But I've also been spending a lot of my time sleeping, and watching the tv shows I taped while I was gone, and signing up for Netflix, and...er, reading a lot of Merlin fic? Yeah, I'm not sure how the last one happened, considering I haven't watched the show and don't usually read fic for shows I haven't at least seen an episode or two of. (Actually, yes, I do know how it happened--smallbeer sent me a link for a Merlin story by Pru, and I read it, and there I went.) But it's fun and feels like an enjoyable side fandom fling to satisfy my voracious appetite for fanfiction when bandom is not giving me all that I need. Heh. Yeah. I fully expect that I will enjoy having a fling with Psych fic after I watch a few more episodes, and I will be hitting ciderpress and the rest of you up for Shawn/Gus recs very soon!
The only problem with starting to watch this show is that I stupidly didn't investigate the content of the discs before I put my queue in order, and I totally didn't realize that the first disc only had the one pilot episode on it! Nooooo! So I settled in to watch two--maybe even three!--episodes, and now I am sadly deprived. James Roday's audition on the bonus features is pretty freaking cute, though. Man, he totally had that character down when he auditioned. Anyway, waah, now I probably have to wait at least two more days before I can watch any more! I've got some other stuff to watch in the meantime, plus Lost and Ugly Betty, but I want more now, tonight, and I feel quite pouty about it.
Hey, also, I haven't bailed on writing a panel report for the Becoming Better Allies panel at Escapade. I have one in progress, and I just kind of feel like I kicked back into gear in the last couple days, so I'll be getting that posted as soon as I can. It's been good to take some time just to think and write a little without feeling like I have to write for public consumption.
In the mean time: Psych! YAY! *g*
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08:40 pm
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Home, home, home
My mom called me at smallbeer's house very early this morning to tell me that it was snowing heavily at home! Awesome! :( This winter will never end. *sigh*
And then, within two hours of being home, I managed to get into an emotional conversation with my mother that was tangentially about something I'm not going to talk to her about right now, and just, *SIGH*.
I CAN HAZ ESCAPADE NAO AN FOR ALL TIMEZ PLEEZ???
(Sorry, I'm not very good at LOLcat-speak, but the Torchwood LOLcat story was a big theme of the weekend, and it makes me giggle. *g*)
Seriously, though. Escapade was such a great time, and I got to spend time with such awesome people, and I got to meet some new people, and I got to talk more with some people I had only sort of met before, and I feel pretty good about all the panels I did, and I went to some really fun panels that I didn't moderate, and I ate a ton of yummy food, and I'm just so grateful for the opportunity to have spent my weekend that way.
Incidentally, next year is Escapade's 20th anniversary. The con comm is very interested in tracking down fans who were a part of Escapade's early years, especially those who attended the first Escapade, and getting as many of them as possible to attend the 20th anniversary con. If you are able to get in touch with people and spread the word, that would be awesome! They can join the LJ community (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) escapade_con) or the mailing list (Escapade News) for updates on next year's con as the planning progresses.
I will be catching up on LJ some, posting con reports, posting some panel reports (the Becoming Better Allies panel report, for sure), etc., but it might take me a few days. For now: ESCAPADE YAY!
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08:19 am
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How Not To Be An Ally
Okay, so just before I was going to bed last night, I read Elizabeth Bear's latest iteration of Bad Idea RaceFail Theater.
It gave me the same adrenaline rush of nauseated, heart-pounding, impotent rage that I felt when I read mac_stone's post accusing POC and their allies of being abusers and the comments on that post from PNH calling them "not very bright."
The rage is a productive response, I think, but the impotence bummed me out. It really just blows my mind that after two months of this, two months and five hundred zillion posts full of opportunities to listen and learn, this is the best "closing statement" she could come up with. It's just. *throws up hands* What the motherfucking fuck?!
My "favorite" part, I think, is this:
It's my fault because I accepted criticism of my book that I knew to be untrue, that I knew to be based on a shallow and partial reading (a reading of the first chapter of a 160,000-word novel), because I felt it was important to serve as an example of how to engage dialogue on unconscious institutional racism.
I wanted to be part of the solution, and make it a teaching experience, rather than responding with hurt and defensiveness. I wanted the dialogue to be about racism and how to combat it, rather than about me.
Or maybe it's this:
Let's just all shut up for a little bit and think about what we've learned--those of us of good conscience, anyway, those who really are interested in productive dialogue, those who care about social justice and making sure all voices are heard.
Because those two quotes right there? Significant lessons in How Not To Be An Ally.
I've been trying to think through my reaction to the first quote and what Bear has revealed about how she understands her role as a white person in combating racism. And here's the thing that I keep coming back to: being an ally requires one to be honest with oneself and with others when reacting to criticism. Being an ally does not mean lying about one's reaction in order to appear to be a Good White Person and serve as some kind of role model for the cause. I mean thanks to Bear for demonstrating so clearly how that will not end well, heh.
If someone criticizes me for being racist, racially insensitive, racially problematic, etc., I have to own my honest reaction to that. I have to be honest with myself about my feelings and my reactions in order to work through them and hopefully be able to respond to the substance of the criticism once I can listen less defensively. And I may or may not end up fully agreeing with the criticism. (Yes! White allies have the right to disagree with people of color and other white anti-racists! Shocking, I know!) Bending over backwards to give Bear the benefit of the doubt in her intentions, I will say that, sure, it's a tough position to be in if I truly want to be an anti-racist ally but I also honestly disagree with someone's critique of my words or behavior.
But no one's "cause" is served by lying about my reactions. That just lets me off the hook for dealing with the complexity of those reactions, and if my priority is to appear to be an ally, even in some misguided attempt to serve the cause, then I'm still making it all about me. And it will not end well because without honest self-examination and the courage to own my feelings and reactions, I'm losing opportunities to become less unconsciously racist, and I will undoubtedly show my ass soon enough. At which point, I will be less equipped to deal with the situation than I would have been if I had been processing my reactions honestly from the beginning. See: Bear's intellectual/political/emotional MESS of a "closing statement."
Regarding the second quote, go read bossymarmalade's response: You see, I couldn't just decide not to have a conversation about race anymore, because it follows me home. My race issues ARE my home.
Because, yeah. Wow. When I read Bear's post last night, I was absolutely blown away by her obvious inability to grasp that this whole fucking mess has not simply been an abstract intellectual exercise for people of color, a discussion that can be "dropped" when it gets too painful and exhausting--or even worse, that people have been having fun fighting about these issues. I am so, so in favor of POC and allies disengaging strategically in order to maintain sanity, focus on actions that will be productive, etc.. And I'm sure she believes that's what she's doing and recommending. But it boggles my mind that after two months of this, she cannot see the unexamined privilege that makes it incredibly offensive for her to ask for this "cease fire." And beyond that to imply that anyone who doesn't follow her suggestion and "shut up" about all this is not in "good conscience," doesn't want productive dialogue, doesn't really care about social justice. Just, WOW.
So, smallbeer and I are doing this panel at Escapade tomorrow on Becoming Better Allies. I wanted to do this panel not because I think I'm an expert at this and want to set myself up as an example of a Model Good White Person, or because I think I have mastered the complexities of race and privilege to such an extent that I now have the right to set the terms of the discourse in any given instance. I want to do this panel because we have to keep getting better at this. God, we have to. And because it's something I can do that makes me feel less impotent. I would really love it if people wanted to come work on this stuff with us.
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05:24 pm
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Oh my, Escapade starts...kind of tomorrow?
Hello! I am in California, at dear smallbeer's house, and for personal reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, this has been a more difficult and strange week than I was anticipating or hoping for. Sinead, however, has been an amazing source of comfort and relaxation and sanity for me this week. Which is pretty much always the case, but has been extra appreciated right now!
So I haven't posted any exciting updates about what we've been doing (um, which has honestly mostly involved delicious food and Sinead's tivo and very comfortable couch), and I haven't been able to do much more than try to keep up with the newest links around RaceFail '09 and feel horrified.
However! We are off to Escapade tomorrow, will be arriving at the hotel sometime in the late afternoon or early evening. I'm sure we'll be around in the bar or lobby or something if other folks will be arriving and want to come hang out!
I also wanted to mention which panels I'll be doing since only one of the ones I suggested actually made it through the voting. I'm doing two of Sinead's panels with her, though, and I signed up for an alternate programming slot for the panel for white allies, since it didn't make the cut. We don't have the final panel schedule yet, so I'll only list the day/time for this panel because it's the only one I'm sure of.
Here's are the two I suggested that are on the schedule, both co-modded with Sinead:
Becoming Better Allies: Consciousness-Raising for White Fans
Friday, 1:00 pm, alternate programming track
All fans are welcome, but this panel's purpose is for white fans to help each other get better at supporting fans of color in discussions of race. We will kindly and respectfully challenge each other to think past triggers, knee-jerk defensiveness, guilt, and fears of "getting it wrong." We will focus on hearing what fans of color have actually said (with textual examples!) and applying it to our own behavior.
From the survey results, it looks like there was quite a bit of interest for this panel in the voting, so I hope folks will still be interested in attending.
Why Is Justice So Damn Sexy?
Benton Fraser, Charles Gunn, Xena, comic superheroes--who are some of our other favorite fighters for justice? And why are they so compelling and sexy? Come share your love for this character type, and let's explore why we love it so much!
Here are two that Sinead suggested, both of which I am co-modding:
SGA: On a Clear Day You Can See the Pegasus Galaxy
Are you feeling relief or regret about the end of SGA? Have you ever been part of an active fandom whose canon closed, and do you have any thoughts (or advice!) about how to keep the fannish energy going? Let's discuss our hopes, fears and fondest dreams for the future of the fandom.
The Times, They Are A Changin'
We seem to be entering a new era of representation in media. Race and racism were often at the forefront of our news for the past two years of election coverage. How do you think this may have changed or will change the media we consume--both fictional and non-fictional?
And here is one more that Sinead suggested, but is modding with someone else:
What A Long Strange Trip It's Been
We share fandoms, but we don't always share our frame of reference. Sometimes you squee like a teenager and sometimes you just want to say, "you kids get offa my lawn!" Let's take a few whacks at talking about aging in fandom, one of the last big taboos.
I wanted to mention that one specifically because I have seen a lot of interest in the new community fenopause, and I think that's awesome, and I'm looking forward to having an interesting conversation at the panel.
So! That's a lot of panels! But I'm looking forward to all of them, and I hope to have some good discussions.
And I've got one more day to have a celebrity sighting in Los Angeles! If I don't, this will be the first year that I have come out here for this week leading up to the con that I didn't see one celebrity. I'm still hopeful, though--we will probably have our traditional pre-Escapade breakfast out tomorrow, and I've seen at least one celebrity every time we've gone to this restaurant. It's the place I saw Fabio a couple years ago! *g*
(Bandom friends! I realized earlier in the week that MCR, Pete Wentz, and PATD are all in LA right now! Alas, I have spotted none of them.)
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05:38 pm
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Oscars 2009
( Oscars opening number spoilers and possibly more if I liveblog )
Will possibly be editing with updates throughout the evening if I am so motivated. :)
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05:13 pm
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Economics, and In the Continuing Adventures of Mind-Blowing Shifts in the National Discourse on Race
I cannot BELIEVE these fucking Republican assholes. Republican governors are actually going to deny the citizens of their states access to assistance from the federal government by rejecting stimulus money?? Are you fucking kidding me??? You know what I want? I WANT SOME MOTHERFUCKERS TO RISE THE FUCK UP. For whatever value of "rise the fuck up" fits your political worldview! I want recall elections. I want people who lose their homes setting up tent cities on the fucking lawns of the governors' mansions. I want these assholes bombarded with questions everywhere they go from people who have lost their health insurance! What the fuck!
Also, I saw this on my news RSS feeds, and then linked by parlance and a couple other people on my friendlist: Eric Holder's speech on Black History Month. Wow. WOW.
Here, if you missed it, is an article with some video: at MSNBC
And here is the text of the speech.
Besides the directness of the speech, I was struck by the way the terms of the discourse about race are changing in mainstream national conversations. The election of President Obama really has created space on a national level for people of color to speak from their own subject positions, and it is, as one would expect, making things different. The way journalists of color were able to speak so clearly on CNN about Holder's speech, and also in response to the racist political cartoon associating Obama with the frenzied chimp, is different than I saw even during the election campaign.
I think of CNN as the most middle of the road major US cable network news source, and it really feels to me like conversations are happening differently there. Which continues to make me feel so...relieved. It's just, we were so close to becoming something really, really scary in a way that has devastating material consequences, and it's amazing to feel like we have a real chance not to become that kind of country. And the way white "America" seems so far willing to embrace a new level of conversation about race is pretty encouraging. Of course, we're seeing some terrifying backlash, too, and I fear that will have material consequences for people of color all over, in their own neighborhoods. But it just continues to blow my mind over and over how much potential we have right now to become something more just and humane and inclusive than we have ever been before.
ETA:As I think further, one of the things that's happening that feels so encouraging to me is the way that the voices of people of color, speaking assertively from their own subject positions, normalize a certain level of knowledge of the history of racism, which normalizes certain assumptions about racism that are totally different from the white default assumptions of most national public discourse. So, for example, the journalists of color were able to respond to the political cartoon as though it is obviously and unquestionably racist because of the historical associations of Black people with apes and monkeys in racist white American discourse. This was presented as something that everyone should know. And that's amazing and new! Sad to say it, but it is, so let's just be happy that it's finally happening!
Also, part of that included a challenge to the privileging of intention in white discourse that should be so familiar to anyone in fandom who has been paying attention for the last few years. But part of the response to that cartoon was an insistence on focusing on the effect of the images, of the representational choices made, in a historical context that assumes racism exists, not allowing the question of whether racism was intended to be the privileged issue in the discussion. Again, sad to say it, but that's new!
ETA 2: I should mention: smallbeer suggested a relevant panel for Escapade that looks like it will probably happen, based on the survey results:
The Times, They Are A Changin’
Our media has eras that mirror changes in the culture; we seem to be entering a new era now. Race and racism were often at the forefront of our news media for the past two years of election coverage. How do you think this may have changed or will change the media we consume–both fictional and non-fictional–in themes, stories, and characters?
I have volunteered to mod it with her if it happens. If you'll be at Escapade, it would be awesome to talk with you at the panel!
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08:45 pm
[Link] | You know what is the greatest pleasure for me every Valentine's Day? Besides all the candy that goes on sale afterwards? Seeing people abbreviate it as "VD" (like, Happy VD!) all over the place. Because I'm 12, and that just never stops being funny. Happy VD! *snerk* My boyfriend is staying over for VD! Ahahahahaha! I got the best VD gift this year! HILARIOUS!!! *g*
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06:01 pm
[Link] | One of my favorite things about Obama's press conference? Rahm Emanuel in the back of the room, grinning through the whole thing, like, "God damn, I'm working for a political genius. Jackpot!" *g*
I also enjoyed the way Obama managed to take the baseball steroid use question seriously without using it for political grandstanding purposes.
And I'm still not over being amused by how much he enjoys making the point over and over that of course the stimulus package would be a "spending bill," duh, geez, that's the whole point, you politically opportunistic Republican ideologue dumbasses. (Only, without really making the last part of the point so clearly. That was just me.)
I really need to make an Obama icon.
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09:54 pm
[Link] |
Escapade panel survey closes Sunday at 12:00 noon PST!
See this post on the con website for a list of the panels already submitted, and a link to the survey to submit more topics.
I suggested one more panel:
Will We Get to Have a Dollhouse Fandom?
At least two episodes of Joss Whedon's new show should have aired by the time we get to the con--let's discuss what we think! Where is its potential, and what seems potentially problematic? Is it a show we want to be fannish about? Will it survive the idiocy of the Fox network? If by some chance it's already canceled, we can shake our fists at TPTB and dissect what went wrong!
It will hopefully actually air on schedule, and then actually be worth talking about. :)
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04:18 pm
[Link] |
More panels, please!
I suggested a fourth panel, and said I'd be willing to lead it:
Why is justice so damn sexy?
What could be hotter than Benton Fraser's unwavering commitment to universal justice? How awesome was Charles Gunn's vision of justice in the Angel finale: something ordinary and everyday that you just show up and *do*? How much do we love Xena for being a baddie who struggles to become a gorgeously ferocious fighter for justice? Let's share our love of this character type and explore why we find it so compelling!
Hello, people who are attending Escapade! There are 40 panels suggested as of this posting, but I want more, more, more to choose from! These days I'm all off in bandom land, with occasional forays into duuudeslash territory (Anna, I am determined to propagate that term!), and I've got those covered in my panel suggestions, so what are the rest of you folks up to these days? Go suggest a panel about it! Also: more meta, please! Panels, yay! Thank you! :)
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08:00 pm
[Link] |
Escapade panel suggestion survey is open until February 8!
See Jenn's post and some of the panels suggested already at the con LJ here. From her post you can follow links to the survey page to submit topics as well as to the topics already suggested. There are already several more since Jenn made the post!
Including the three panels I suggested:
Becoming Better Allies: Consciousness-Raising for White Fans
All fans are welcome, but this panel's purpose is for white fans to help each other get better at supporting fans of color in discussions of race. We will kindly and respectfully challenge each other to think past triggers, knee-jerk defensiveness, guilt, and fears of "getting it wrong." We will focus on hearing what fans of color have actually said (with textual examples!) and applying it to our own behavior.
What Fourth Wall???-- Negotiating Boundaries in Musician RPS
Increased contact with fans is becoming a bigger part of the job description across the creative spectrum, but long before the internet gave everyone a blog, musicians have been sleeping with groupies, doing signings and meet-and-greets, and growing to mass cultural success from small, personal local music scenes. Popslashers, bandom folks, Rockfic folks, fans who have been writing underground Led Zeppelin slash since the 1970's--let's talk about our fourth wall issues!
Duuudeslash--Awesome, or Really Really Awesome?
Do you love silly stoner comedies and think Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle would only have been improved if Harold and Kumar just got it on? Does it really work for you to imagine those dirty Jackass boys getting up to dirty things off-camera? Do you think Judd Apatow deserves hugs for continuing to bring the bromance in each new project? Then let's get together and share the duuudeslash love!
That's it so far, but I'm going to see if I can come up with some more to suggest before Sunday.
I volunteered to lead the panel for white allies and the duuudeslash panel, and I said I'd be willing to lead the RPS panel. We'll see! I'd really love it if all three of these panels happened, but even if the white allies panel doesn't make the cut, I'm planning to do it in one of the alternate programming slots with whoever wants to show up. I'd like to have that conversation, even if it's only a handful of us.
Go suggest panels! Lots and lots more panels!
ETA: Also, is there anyone out there who I normally might see at Escapade, but who isn't planning to go this year? Anyone who has been thinking of going but maybe just needs a nudge to make it happen? Can I beg you to go see if you can swing a super cheap airfare and make last-minute plans? I'm feeling bummed on the low registration numbers and the number of people I never get to see who won't be there this year. Airfares have been really cheap! I know the economy is in a sucky place for travel for a lot of us, and I'm feeling that, but I value that face-to-face time with my favorite people in fandom so much, and I don't seem to have it in me to deny myself that even when it would be more financially responsible of me. So, er, join me in financial irresponsibility! Come have thinky conversations and silly squeeful bouts of ridiculousness with me!
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05:29 pm
[Link] | I've got about 5 million tabs open and pages bookmarked with posts to comment on and comments to reply to, and I'll be getting there, but probably not tonight. My brother is here visiting, I have some serious cramps, I bought cookies'n'cream ice cream on my way home, and my brother, my mom, and I are all going to watch Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. God, that sounds so perfect.
[ETA: Oh! And tonight's dinner? Course 1= a packet of cinnamon flavored instant oatmeal. Course 2 = cookies'n'cream ice cream in that same bowl (leftover cinnamony goodness!) with slightly stale Reese's cereal and Hershey's chocolate syrup on top. Awesome!]
We watched the second X-Files movie the other night. It was...well, no spoilers, but I think I expected it to be a lot worse than it was? I mean, it wasn't good, like, at all. But I honestly expected to be a lot more offended, both ideologically and aesthetically. I kept cringing for my girl Gillian Anderson, though. I mean, from Masterpiece Theater-type work to...that. I don't know how she kept a straight face. And then it really felt like Mulder was even more of a Chris Carter insert than ever, with his, "woe is me, no one cares about paranormal phenomena anymore, the world has moved on, and I am no longer relevant." *sigh* Anyway! It could have been worse!
Mostly, though, I'm posting because I wanted to tell you all about the latest Obama-related event to make me cry. So I was watching America's Best Dance Crew, and the Strikers (this fucking amazing stepping crew from Florida A&M) were about to get their results from the judges. I came in late and was kind of half-watching at first, but it sounded like one of the guys in the group had passed up a chance to attend the inauguration because he didn't want to ditch out on his crew for the competition? Lil Mama was giving him credit for that decision, and then she mentioned to the group and everyone in the audience that Obama watches the show with his daughters. And then she had everyone say hello and congratulations to President Obama, and then everyone held their O's up in the air and waved and said hi, and then I started bawling!
We have a president that watches America's Best Dance Crew with his daughters! Lil Mama wanted to give a shout out to our president!
Here is a really crappy 20-second video of it on YouTube.
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04:46 pm
[Link] |
For reading and thinking hard about
Please go read something smart, direct, full of clarity, and way more generous toward white fandom than perhaps we deserve right now from ciderpress.
This is by no means the primary point of her post, but as I can't seem to help viewing from a teacher's perspective, this statement strikes me as one of the essential things us white folks need to figure out to be able to hear past our defensive reactions to "tone" in discussions of race and racism:
I think that anger is a driving force that makes some people extremely eloquent, drives their passion for change in themselves, in others and in their environments. Anger, education, these are all gifts to people who are willing to learn.
What I think about here is that if fen of color's anger over experiences of either intentional or unintentional racism actually leads them to write something about it, to try to communicate with the mostly white folks they are surrounded by in fandom, to try to tell us white fen what they think and feel about what's happening...that is a GIFT to us. That is a gift being offered--the gift of the time and energy it takes to communicate clearly when you feel hurt and angry and unsafe, the gift of emotional risk-taking involved in putting yourself out there when you are the minority and have experienced disappointingly and predictably offensive reactions from the majority in the past, the gift of assuming that white people want to figure out how to be less hurtful to people of color in spite of a body of life experience that might suggest otherwise. We are owed nothing, and any time a fan of color decides to engage with us on these issues instead of retreating from fandom entirely or from white-dominated fandom spaces, white fen are being offered the gift of the opportunity to learn from someone we know, from someone with whom we already share interests and pleasures, from someone we might care about personally.
If that gift is offered, it behooves us to listen hard and well. To engage in self-reflection, to work through our knee-jerk defenses if they trip us up, and to try to understand someone else's point of view in a deep way.
That said, before you go read the whole post, please be aware of the following bit:
I do want to state up front how important it is to me that whoever reads this, how many number of people read this, be it one or five or ten, this post is not a place for clueless, slightly clued up or even clued-in white people/allies to have a Kumbaya moment and then move onto other more sparkly things. As the dust settles, I have seen a considerable number of white people repeatedly declare that their painful, difficult ordeal has been worth it, thanking and patting each other/themselves on the back and having a little cry or whatever it is people do when they feel like they have had a cathartic moment. And hey, it's not that I am denying that there is real fallout and emotional pain for white people or that they need a space to talk about their issues and our collective issues. Race discussions *are* hard for all of us. I do not begrudge clueless white fans these moments because it is about them sometimes and they need to process about the implications and fallout and where they want to go with the knowledge they have, how they apply it in real life and in their art, to make themselves truer? (better?) artist. And I most definitely appreciate all the allies who have stepped up and been so passionate these past weeks.
However, in the intense and almost singular focus on clueless white people in this discussion and the often repeated statement that this was an opportunity to dialogue, that there is solace in the fact that it has been worth all the pain and difficulty, that they are somehow *glad*, the underlying assumption is that:
# PoCs have emotional/intellectual catharsis after such discussions.
# PoC's pain being part of an educational moment for clueless white people is worth it to PoCs because it's worth it to white people.
# Anti-racism matters the same amount, in the same way to clueless white people, allies and PoC.
As Anna acknowledges, white folks need to be able to process what we hear and feel and think when people of color speak, but I'm thinking hard about how it would be helpful for us to consider carefully where we do our processing and how our processing contributes to or influences the direction of the conversation at hand. So, her post? Not the place, for starters.
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01:02 pm
[Link] |
NO. This is NOT OKAY.
For the record, I am, of course, sorry for any experiences of abuse that any person has suffered, and I am respectful of the mental and emotional strength and courage it takes to survive any kind of abuse or severely traumatic experience. I understand the idea of "triggers," and how difficult it is to navigate a world that can trip a person up so suddenly, a world in which someone else's unintentional words or actions can be the thing that pulls the rug out from under a person and leaves her feeling hurt, betrayed, angry, terrified, powerless, victimized, or any other way a survivor might feel when triggered.
I also understand that what I just said could very well characterize the normal, daily experience of many people of color living in white supremacist, institutionally racist societies.
And I am a white feminist woman who is APPALLED, DISGUSTED, INFURIATED, AND HORRIFIED that anyone could use the framework of therapy, self-help, and the abuser-survivor dynamic to so completely dismiss the concerns of people of color in this latest round of cultural appropriation discussions by casting them as manipulative, attention-whoring, abusive trolls. Wow, is that offensive to me, SO OFFENSIVE, especially in the context of a conversation that also includes an actual literal assertion that "some people" (implying the fans of color and white fans making critiques of racial insensitivity in Elizabeth Bear's work and her LJ post) are just "not-so-bright" and "can't sort out the difference between their inner feelings and the exterior world of discourse."
FUCK THAT BULLSHIT. Really, fuck it. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. We (as in: white women, white fans, white educated people, white people in general, white-dominated societies in general, all of the above) can do better than this, we can be smarter than this, we can be more empathetic than this.
I've got so much feeling and thought swirling around in my head, and I don't know if I can get any more of it out because I am just so pissed off.
If that post I linked to gets locked down, sorry about that. I've saved a copy to my desktop for future reference. Honestly? I don't think a response from a stranger that conveys a sense of attack would be productive or kind at this point, so I'm not commenting there. But I'd really recommend reading those folks in their own words if the post stays open because it's pretty fucking unbelievable.
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